Trivial Tidbits from my First Year of Parenthood

Becoming a new parent usually involves a crash course in some of the obvious mom/dad duties like changing diapers, feeding, bathing, etc. I’ve also learned some other things these past 13 months as Sawyer’s mother that are the unexpected, can't prepare for things. That being said, I thought I would still share. It probably still won’t help prepare you but depending on your current situation you might experience the following….

1. For those who are parents, you might get a good laugh because you too have experienced them.

2. For those who are not parents but plan to be someday, you might also get a good laugh at what you have to look forward too OR you just might revisit your choice to become parents.

3. For those who are not parents and don’t plan to be, you might also get a good laugh at us who get to experience them and see what you’re missing out on.

**note: these are just opinions, none have been proven to be parenting law**

Sh*@ Happens

Wearing something nice? Expect any or all bodily fluids to show up on it by the end of the day

Is there actual gold in those golden potatoes?

Kids Menu’s are a rip off. Maybe it is because our son really just wants to eat whatever we are eating but paying $5 for some Kraft macaroni and cheese that you can get at the store for 54 cents is just not worth it. Just order an extra side and share your food with them. Portions are usually way too large anyway.

Bragging Rights

Try not talking about your kid when you are away from your kid…it is impossible. Every story somehow now relates back to your child, no matter how hard you try; they come up in almost every conversation.

Children have the “sleep-sense”

As soon as your tired head hits the pillow, you will hear a cry, yell or laughter….they just know!

Sweatin’ it out

No more “let’s save money, no heat/air this week” – we’ve all done it, froze our butt off or sweated profusely getting ready just to save a few dollars on the utility bill. With a baby in the house, no questions asked, you have to have the air and heat on. So keep that in mind new parents and put that in the ‘hadn’t thought of that’ Baby Budget.

Value Diapers are cheaper for a reason

We’ll do anything to save money because babies are expensive! So of course we have tried off-brand diapers BUT they are like cardboards taped around your babies bum. Save your child’s rear and pay the extra couple dollars for name brand.

Home is where the “mess” is

I’ll admit I sometimes have minor panic attacks when I come home. Chaos has taken over where décor used to be and no matter how many times you clean, children prefer toys scattered versus put in their place. This is a good thing, it means they are having fun. So, I am learning to let my inner child rule and let my home be a place to play and not a “no touch” zone.

Milkin’ it

Weaning is harder on the mom (well me) then it is on the child. Children are adaptable; mothers are emotional.

Doo doo dialogue

A Normal conversation with your significant other is most likely going to involve poop & spit up (and various other body functions) and you aren’t afraid to have these said conversations in front of other people.

 I’m not doing that!

All the things you said you would never do as a parent, you will now consider and possibly even do. You’ll talk like a baby, let them sleep in your bed, give them a pacifier…really anything that will make them happy.

 Parents know best

It is true that you develop a new respect for your parents and the job they did raising you when you become a parent. I can’t even count how many times I have called my mom for advice over this past year. I trust her advice/suggestions over a Google search any day. As a parent, knowing they raised 3 girls seems like they should have at some point gotten a MAJOR AWARD!

We’ve got a crier

I was never much of a crier until I become a mom. Now I can see a commercial about a baby and the tears start falling like the family pet just died. It is even for happy moments; the first time sawyer kissed me I broke down like a weeping child. Be prepared!

We’ve got a blowout!

Get used to being late. Right when you are about to walk out of the door, no fail either your

baby will have a blowout or meltdown, maybe both. Build in about 15-20 minutes of extra

time for the unexpected. If you have planned something in advance, it will change. I’m

learning how to fly by the seat of my pants.